HK69
by flooj9235
Summary: HK is walking around the ship when he happens onto something he wishes he'd never had to see. Femslash! Cheesy title, I know.


"Complaint: Why my master refuses to finish repairing my systems is beyond me," HK-47 muttered as he marched down the hallway. Patrolling the small ship his Master had stolen was one of the best ways for the assassin droid to spend his time, as boring as it was. There was nothing to kill; he had exterminated the last of the gizka (which wasn't as impossible as his master had deemed it) a few weeks ago.

"Statement: I wonder if that Mandalorian has finished tuning up Master's swoop bike," the droid mused, turning down the hallway that led to the workshop. He marched in, standing in the doorway and surveying the workshop.

Canderous was indeed hunched over the swoop bike, using a torch to weld two pieces together. He stopped and straightened, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. Canderous seemed to sense HK-47's presence and glanced over his shoulder at the HK droid, raising an eyebrow. "What do you want?" he asked gruffly.

"Statement: Carry on, meatbag." Slightly amused at the annoyed grunt the Mandalorian made, HK-47 turned and marched out of the workshop and headed toward the male meatbag dorm. If HK could've, he would have scowled in disgust at the thought of the Wookiee meatbag sleeping and snoring. "Complaint: It would be much easier to complete my programmed rest cycle if that beast didn't interrupt me every three seconds by sawing logs," HK-47 complained to himself.

As HK-47 walked by the cargo bay, he noticed the doors were closed. The droid slowed and stopped, staring at the closed door. His battle programming activated itself and HK-47 began scanning the area for any traces of danger. His hypersensitive audio receivers picked up the sound of his master gasping for breath and that other meatbag Master seemed so infatuated with breathing heavily.

HK-47 made a quick decision and opened the door, his sensors determining that the other meatbag might be hurting his master in some way.

What HK-47 saw surprised him. Both his master and the other meatbag had removed their clothing and were 'kissing' wildly. His master's hand slipped down the meat bag's body, going toward the junction between the meatbag's legs.

HK-47 cleared his voice emulator, effectively startling both his master and the meatbag "Bastila".

"What the-!" Revan yelped, quickly shielding a half-naked Bastila from prying eyes.

Bastila gasped and immediately started grabbing for her clothes.

HK-47 curiously assessed the situation before speaking. He was surprised when he noticed how angry his master looked, dodging when she threw a boot at him.

"Get the hell outta here!" Revan yelled, glancing over her shoulder at Bastila. The smaller Jedi was blushing furiously as she pulled her tunic over her head.

"Complaint: But Master-"

"Get OUT! And don't you say a word about this to anyone, or I'll personally take you apart and sell each of your parts to the highest bidder!" Revan threatened.

HK-47 was offended, but decided it best to go ahead and leave his master alone with the other meatbag. He reluctantly turned and walked out of the cargo bay, his audio receptors picking up the sound of Revan speaking to Bastila as the doors slid shut.

"Hey, it was just HK. If it helps, I'll do a memory wipe on him later," Revan said, a note of amusement in her voice.

"But what if he tells? Revan, I don't-"

HK-47 would have cringed if he could as he picked up on the sound of the two sentient's mucus-covered lips crushing together. He quickly turned his audio receptors down so he wouldn't have to hear any more before marching off to find the useless astromech droid. He needed answers.

"Statement: T3-M4, I require an explanation," HK-47 said as he marched into the engine room where the astromech droid was reconfiguring part of the engine.

The astromech droid beeped in answer, apparently waiting for HK-47's question.

"Query: I just came across Master and the meatbag Bastila in the cargo bay. Alone. And the noises they were making! Oh, it was horrible!"

T3-M4 shook his head and whistled lowly.

"Exclamation: What do you mean, I should have left them alone? Master sounded like she was in pain, and I needed to make sure I didn't need to eliminate the other meatbag." HK-47 clicked the safety off on the rifle he was holding, hoping to show the T3 droid his frustration.

T3-M4 beeped a few times and whistled again, finishing his reconfiguration and rolling out of the engine room.

HK-47 took a moment to search his databanks the information T3-M4 had just recommended on "lesbians," horror filling his circuitry. HK-47 tried to shake away the images of his master engaging in such acts and doing… that to another meatbag.

HK-47 processed all the information for a few moments, still a little confused. After a moment, he sighed. "Weary Commentary: Well, whatever makes Master happy. Even though I would prefer an assassination mission to kissing…" With that, HK-47 marched off, continuing on with his patrol of the ship.


End file.
